Before his days of ruining Van Halen (at least according to my one uncle who still sports a rat tail), Sammy Hagar tried to be a solo artist. He had limited success, with his main hit being a little song about driving over the speed limit.

The video starts without music, a bold choice. We need an update on Sammy’s car. It’s very important from a narrative perspective to make this crystal clear. Otherwise, I would have no idea what this song and video is about! Thanks Sammy.

After testing his new car at the track, he decides to drive it home. He ignores the protestations of his band mates/pit crew, who take off after him in a truck. Their goal: keep Sammy Hagar under the speed limit. They fail miserably. A police officer pulls him over and- oh my god, what is Sammy Hagar wearing!?

Hagar 55 Jumpsuit

It appears to be a sleeveless yellow jumpsuit, like he’s a factory worker from the future in a color scheme that could only be appreciated by Hulk Hogan and Ronald McDonald. He’s ready to take on Blanka in Street Fighter.

Sammy is frustrated. All he wants to do is speed along the highway, endangering everyone and everything. Why won’t the police let him do that? Unfortunately, his frustrations get the better of him and he grabs the officer to scream in his face. “No sir, I will not be driving under your oppressive speed limit! Good day!” This does not go over well.

Hagar 55 Arrested

I really appreciate how Sammy times his guttural noises with events in the video. His “oof” when he hits the hood of the cop car is perfection. Hagar is brought straight to court and thrown on his knees before the honorable Judge Julius Hangman. GULP.

Hagar 55 Judge

That name infers that he may not be reasonable in matters such as these. Hangman sports a big old beard to hide the fact that he has a tiny mouth. The guy is mouthing along with select lyrics to the song, but you can barely tell. Things are looking bleak, so Mr. Hagar, as he is wont to do, grabs the judge by his robe and screams in his face about not being able to drive under the speed limit. He follows this up by standing before the court and shredding some killer guitar, bruh.

Hagar 55 Court Guitar

Sammy’s Cobra Kai reject squad can’t keep the cops back, so Hagar goes full Matrix on this cop and does a running backflip off of a god damn wall.

Hagar 55 Matrix

Alas, Hagar can’t be saved, even though he jumps onto a cop’s shoulders like he’s a five-year-old at Disney World. His downfall? A little old lady with an umbrella. I’m convinced this video was conceived by the crew behind the 1960s Batman show.

Hagar 55 Umbrella

Like so many musicians before him, Sammy and the Cobra Kai pit crew end up in prison. However, he’s not there long. as the power of song or cocaine or something helps him push down the bars on his cell and get back where he belongs: endangering people on the highways of southern California.

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