At some point, a Google executive took a look at someone wearing Google Glass and had an involuntary response of “Oh shit.”

Let’s face it, nobody looks good wearing Google Glass. Not Eric Schmidt. Not your rich, douchebag neighbor. I don’t even think Kate Upton could pull it off.

So, how is Google supposed to track every breath you take? How about Android Wear?

Google’s foray into the smartwatch market will likely be more successful than Google Glass or Samsung Gear but is it a worthwhile investment for the average consumer?

That depends on your addiction to technology or if you’re really excited about the idea of talking to your watch to send a text while annoying the shit out of everyone else on your bus.

Here’s a question worth asking yourself: Do you even like wearing a watch? That could easily rule out whether or not you need Android Wear.

Do you know anyone that wears a Samsung Gear? I know a few. They pretty much wear them because they feel obliged to after dropping a a couple Bennies on one.

Gizmodo claims that Android Wear is essentially Google Now, an app that you can already download for your Android or iOS device for free. They claim this is a good thing. Here is what they had to say:

Instead of a glut of phone notifications just waiting to be dismissed, Android Wear promises a constant, Google Now-ish stream of relevant information you can opt into with a flick of the wrist. Context cards just waiting to be called upon at a glance, all wired into the ever-improving service Google has already been running for years. Heading to the office? Your watch tells you what traffic’s like. Favorite football team headed into overtime? Your watch feeds you scoring updates. All without ever even having to ask.


The thought of this makes my eyes roll.

If my favorite team is headed into overtime, I am probably already watching the game. If I am not, I am probably recording the game and doing my best to avoid any notifications about the game until I can watch it.

If I am heading to the office, I could just as easily check Google Maps or countless other resources to find out about the traffic. Or, I could just get in my car and see for myself. (Whoa! Mind blowing, right?)

On the surface, the information streamed by Android Wear may seem practical to some but we are probably all better off having a little separation from the endless stream of instant notifications that already occupies our lives.

We are all probably better off saving a little money too.

One way or another, you are going to end up paying through the teeth for this constant stream of data. If cellular providers do not create tablet-like plans for the Wear, then you will be eating up data from your smartphone’s ever-shrinking, capped data plan.

Is that really worth finding out if your favorite team is in overtime just by looking at your wrist?

If you really need to know right at that very instant, just pull your damned smartphone out of your pocket and check.