I’m certain there’s a good number of readers, that know what it’s like to be promised 8+ inches only to get a few. So cheer up East Coast and heed the following advice carefully.

– A fun prank to play on a department store associate is to come out of a changing room and tell them that they are out of toilet paper.

– The older you get the harder it is to tell a trucker that you’re a runaway.

– Hey Dads! You can legitimately tell people that your penis has put someone in the hospital.

– It’s always a good idea to come up with a fake name ahead of time, before you find yourself telling someone your name is Billy Stopsign.

– Do you often find yourself thirsty and bored? Congratulations, you may be a houseplant!

– Ask yourself, What is my inner Calvin sticker peeing on?