• I look at too many things and think to myself, “Yeah, a cat could definitely stand on that.”
  • Turns out you can die from diarrhea, even if you just eat a little bit of it.
  • Nice try Pepperidge Farm but those paper cookie dividers don’t slow me down in the slightest!
  • I’d be willing to bet that this is the first time you’ve ever pictured Gilligan or the Skipper naked.
  • No matter how much you flex and pose at the zoo, they STILL won’t let you fight a tiger!
  • Boy were my kids mad when they found out it wasn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
  • The worst part about getting cooties is having to contact your old TV Tag partners.
  • My guess, is that Shit’s Creek is pretty terrible even WITH a paddle.