Hi Folks. It’s that time of year when the birds fly away but the Valentines candy rears its mocking head, once again trampling over MLK Day festivities. I think you all could use a dose of reality.

– If your hat can’t hold tortilla chips in it, it is a hat made out of bullshit.

– Turns out, A yawn is a reflex consisting of the simultaneous inhalation of air and the stretching of the eardrums, followed by an exhalation of breath, associated with tiredness and not an opportunity to fart directly into your mouth. Sorry Honey.

– If you say the words “High 5!” before executing one, you don’t deserve the High 5.

– If you ever get the opportunity to die in a public place, a funny thing to do before you die is to point at a stranger and say, “You did this!”

– If you ever feel lonely, pop an old favorite into the VCR and pretend that Alien and Predator were fighting over YOU.

– I think you’d be pleasantly surprised at how much dog doo will fit into your neighbors mailbox.