Ah, nothing like Oscar night, to remind us that the only movie we got around to seeing was most likely a crappy, comedy sequel with about a handful of laughs in it. *Cough -Dumb and Dumber To- *cough! I really need to see a doctor about this cough.

  • Fun Academy Awards Fact: Oscar was the first guy to cut a hole in a popcorn tub to “surprise” his date at the movies.
  • Is there anything sadder than a shoddily constructed couch fort?
    …Stop looking at me like that.
  • If your dentist is an asshole, a few Butterfingers in the parking lot before your appointment should do the trick.
  • You may think that sleeping naked will inspire some sexy dreams but the reality is that it will just be one weird Chuck E. Cheese outing.
  • I know it’s considered “wrong” but if you really have to go, I think it’s ok to poop in a handicap parking spot.
  • If there’s leftover pizza in my house, I find it hard to concentrate on anything else.