• Whatever happened to Slim Goodbody? Don’t tell me it was “natural causes”.
  • I didn’t mean to gain all this weight. It happened by “snacksident”.
  • I will never use the product of a company that utilizes a car horn in a radio commercial.
  • Anytime CoorsMillerBud Light showcases a new can gimmick, it’s a good bet that they are using a cheaper level of animal piss for the product.
  • I’m still using Preparation A…I hate change.
  • Some asshole named George RR Martin is printing up a bunch of books containing Game of Thrones spoilers!
  • They should put missing Vegans on soy milk cartons.
  • Taking a picture of your own butthole is difficult, especially when everyone in this Best Buy is yelling at you.