Unless you are a drywall installer in the greater Seattle area, you probably aren’t busy right now. This will keep you occupied for a few minutes.

  • I think it’s safe to say at this point that you don’t need to do anything special to be a Spice Girl’s lover.
  • You know you are drinking too much coffee when your urine smells like delicious and wonderful coffee.
  • If you ever find yourself in a dispute at the mall, ask an associate at foot locker to mediate.
  • Dyslectics are teople poo.
  • Nothing good ever goes into a microwave after 11pm.
  • You will never truly be free until you can decline a dinner party invitation without feeling the need to give an excuse.
  • Movies, books and TV like to portray drunk dads as aggressively abusive but how about the drunk dad that sits quietly in his room and looks at Facebook?
  • If you ever find yourself in the Super Bowl on the 1 yard line with merely seconds left and just a few inches between you and winning the championship, why not give the ball to THE BEST RUNNING BACK IN THE ENTIRE PLANET (maybe universe)?!!