What’s Next?

With Mad Men so close to the finish line, all anyone can seem to ask is “is that all there is?” and “what’s next?” Don is reluctantly moving forward with his life after fighting to get back into SC&P and finalizing his divorce. He wants his apartment sold, but he doesn’t want to spruce it up or even clean up blatant wine stains. Don, yet again, has everything and nothing. He’s won awards, earned industry-wide respect, made tons of money. He’s checked off most of the major accomplishments in his industry. Ted seems happy to just move on to the next advertising challenge. Peggy wants to leave a mark on this world. What does Don Draper want, other than a gigantic Hershey’s bar and an Olympic-size swimming pool?

He certainly doesn’t want to deal with dumb old Mathis. I didn’t even know this guy’s name until 5 minutes ago. I just referred to him as “young copywriter without glasses”. Mathis gets himself fired after cursing in front of a client and then trying to get past it by using one of Don’s old lines with none of Don’s charm. Of course that didn’t work, dummy! But Mathis accuses Don of not having any character, which naturally adds to Don’s latest existential crisis.

How much longer can Don can handle this life? It seemed like he was done with it when he was placed in limbo by the other partners at SC&P at the conclusion of season 6, but it just made him more determined to get back. He’s got his old life back, yet all he can ask is what it all means. That leaves me asking what it all means. Now I’m typing this while rocking back and forth in my chair, thinking about the infinite blackness of the universe. What have you done to me, Matthew Weiner? Empty apartment…miniature orchestras…hell’s bells… Deep breaths. Deep breaths,


Jelly Sally

Glen Bishop’s war never ended. His prepubescent battle with his creeptastic feelings for Betty Draper outlasted her last name. Yeah, she’s his best friend’s mom. Yeah, she’s married to a successful politician. But that doesn’t change how Glen feels. You know he’s still got some of her hair in a box somewhere.

As for Betty, well, she can’t help herself. Glen’s mighty mutton chops and chest hair are just too irresistible. He strutted into her house like a sexy Greg Brady.

For a few minutes this week, it felt like I was watching a weird Mad Men porno. If only Glen had brought a pizza with him on his second visit to Betty. With extra sausage. Perhaps this was Matthew Weiner’s homage to Boogie Nights. That’s Glen for you. Everything gets weird when Weiner Junior is in the mix.

Between this attention, Glen’s announcement that he has joined the army, and her friend blatantly hitting on her father, Sally is a ball of rage. She angrily proclaims that she will not be like her parents. Don firmly tells her that she’s got the looks, but the rest is up to her. It feels like it’s about time for Sally to become a full-on hippie, between her conservative parents and her best friend shipping off to Vietnam. That seems too obvious for a character as good as Sally.


Bruuuuuce (Greenwood?)

Oh look, it’s everyone’s favorite old fogey, Lou Avery! He got moved out west, which is ideal for him to finally cash-in on his mischievous cartoon army monkey. Lou, like so many on Mad Men, is simultaneously the worst and the best. Our glimpse of Lou comes with Joan’s visit to the west coast. No one would have cared what happened to him otherwise. He basically blows off Joan and she gets to meet Bruce Greenwood.

No, Bruce Greenwood isn’t playing himself, but I don’t care to address him by any other name. He’s an older man embracing the shittiest styles of the 70s and he sure is into Joanie. Except for the fact that she’s a mom. He’s retired maaaaaan, he ain’t got no time to raise another kid. Except when he changes his mind for sweet, sweet Joanie. I’m sure this will end well for all parties involved, especially when her previous older lover and his mighty mustache notice what’s up.


Pete Campbell Hair Watch

Still bad, but not totally bald.