Hi, Steve hasn’t read the books yet, so don’t be a jerk. Cool? Cool. 

The Night’s Watch is a crap ass organization. Sure, they save criminals and bastards and weirdos from death and give them a purpose. Sure, they task themselves with protecting the Wall from the Wildlings and White Walkers. But then they put silly rules in place. Namely, the no sex rule. Yeah, that always works out well. I’m sure they won’t get repressed or anything and eventually explode and oh, hi Craster’s Keep.

The ugliness at Craster’s Keep is the result of repressing these men. Most of them weren’t good men to start with, so it makes it all the worse when that genie is finally let out of the bottle. Craster was vile, so no one had a problem with him getting the pointy end. But his daughter-wives (editor’s note: ewwwwwww) don’t deserve this. Their lives have somehow gone from bad with Craster to worse with the rebellious crows. They’re raping these women day and night with nothing else to do.

Jon Snow got his sexual repression out, but the Night’s Watch is trying to hold him back in other ways. He always wanted to be a Ranger, but politics and bureaucracy have made him a mere Steward. The story constantly finds ways around this, but he is still only a Steward. Snow has tasked himself with taking care of the rebellious Night’s Watch faction. He’s going to kill these men who have liberated themselves from the repression that hounds Jon himself.

It’s a murky situation, but Jon’s half-brother Bran is thrown into the fray. Bran, Hodor, Jojen and Meera stumble upon Craster’s Keep and witness the rebellious crows’ cruelty. They are captured. Poor Hodor is tortured. Jojen and Meera are threatened. Bran has to use his one bargaining chip and reveal who he is. The situation won’t be murky for Jon Snow. These are bad men holding his half-brother hostage and they will have to go.

It’s a shame it isn’t a murky situation. It would be far more interesting to see Jon Snow take on a group of men who simply had gotten fed up with being mistreated by the Night’s Watch and were trying to build a new life at Craster’s Keep. Jon needs these men gone so they don’t tell the Wildling army just how weak the Watch is at this point. He has to do something. But the story decided to make it a black and white issue.

You can’t root for this gang of rapists and bullies holding a major character hostage. You can’t root for someone who tortures poor Hodor until he Hodors his Hodors. It’s good guy Jon Snow versus the bad guy oathbreakers, when it could have been so much more.


Blah blah blah

  • Grey Worm is learning English. Ser Davos is learning to read. Game of Thrones is just Sesame Street at the end of the day. With decapitations and boobs.
  • Has Daenerys leveled up enough to attack King’s Landing yet? I know, I know, George R.R. Martin. The dragons, ice zombies, and pizzas are all coming.
  • As I wrote last week, this show is not interested in playing Clue. Littlefinger verified his role in the assassination of Joffrey Baratheon. Lady Olenna revealed her role as the trigger woman all so casually. Considering how well this worked out for both the Tyrells and the Lannisters, one has to wonder if Tywin played any role in his grandson’s death.
  • With Sansa and Littlefinger headed to the Eyrie, who wants to bet on who is going to be the first one to end up in a sky cell? That was one of the best visuals back in season one. I wonder if that awful child is still breast feeding…
  • Brienne has a fancy new Valyrian steel sword, but she has to say goodbye to Jaime since she’s been tasked with finding Sansa Starkisster. Sorry Jaime/Brienne shippers.
  • That was a nice touch on the sword being named Oathkeeper in the same episode featuring an entire gang of oathbreakers.
  • Jaime and Tyrion are brothers! And they kind of like each other!
  • Best animal name in Westeros: Ser Pounce or Shaggydog? I’ll hang up and listen.