There’s been quite a bit of gossip ever since Disney announced that it was producing a new Star Wars trilogy. We’re getting closer and closer to the nerd apocalypse that will be Episode VII, and with it, more and more rumors.

Let’s run through the facts and rumors in a clean and simple fashion, as the internet has dictated that things like this must be done.


J.J. Abrams is directing the new trilogy.

The reaction to Abrams (one of the people behind Lost, Fringe, Alias, Super 8, and much more) has been mixed across the internet to say the least. His revamp of Star Trek has done incredibly well financially, but is generally disliked by Trekkies. Abrams is an unabashed Star Wars fanatic, and gave some of that energy to his Trek franchise. Now that he’s actually getting a crack at his dream franchise, what is he going to do with it?

Obviously, there is going to some LENS FLARE involved. Abrams is kind of known for it at this point, and jokes about it abound with any production that the director throws out there. The abundance of jokes about lens flare are actually more annoying than the actual use of the technique at this point.

The bigger concern is what direction he’ll be steering the franchise in. Will we get the dark, junky universe featured in the original trilogy? Will everything be bright and shiny and new like it is in the prequels? Will we get whiny conversations about life and love? Will there be EWOKS???

It’s hard to think that Abrams can screw this up too badly based on what he’s done with Star Trek. The new Trek looks fantastic, and has some great action and humor. Into Darkness was poorly received by Trek fans due to story and tone issues. It was a retread of the Khan story, and that action-adventure based tone isn’t the right fit for Trek. As long as Abrams gives us something new and doesn’t rely too much on checking in with the previous Star Wars movies, he should succeed.

And no, George Lucas supposedly isn’t involved in the process. But, you know he totally is.

At the very least he’s dressed like a Stormtrooper incognito to keep an eye on things.


The new Star Wars trilogy will take place 30 years after the original trilogy’s end.

This makes a lot of sense considering the inclusion of Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher. We don’t need any more distracting de-aging effects out there. Everyone loves the passing of a ceremonial torch, right? I, myself, am very excited to see Han Solo grumble about young people these days and wink to the camera. It’s funny because he’s old!

I have one pressing question regarding this: Where’s Chewy? I need Chewbacca, dammit. Don’t tell me he was crushed by a moon off-screen. That is the absolute worst Star Wars news that you could ever give me. Where’s Chewy at, String!?

The film is also set to star “a trio of new young leads,” which I’m sure will consist of all new, exciting characters, and not just a set of legacy characters. Sarcasm aside, legacy characters are fine, and make sense, just as long as they’re veering into new territory. I’m not sure how much I want to see of the beloved big 3 of Luke, Leia, and Han in their current state.

We’ve seen their story, now it’s time for something different.



Recent rumors have focused on casting, specifically centering on Adam Driver (Girls), Jesse Plemons (Friday Night LightsBreaking Bad), and Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years A Slave) . All of this is far from confirmed, but it’s certainly fun to speculate on.

Driver is best known for his role as Hannah’s boyfriend Adam on the HBO show Girls. He certainly has a villainous look about him, with his dark hair, goatee, and large frame. The fact that his best known work is Girls might give some people pause (while critically acclaimed, it isn’t exactly an action franchise), but he has worked on productions such as Lincoln and Inside Llewyn Davis.

Plemons’ two major roles have both had a certain goofiness about them. FNL’s Landry (absurd murder plots notwithstanding) was the goofy southern nerd with a heart of gold. Breaking Bad’s Todd was chillingly simple in the way he went about terrorizing Albuquerque. Plemons has effectively played both affable and detached and could possibly handle a lead role of this magnitude. It all depends on his delivery of, “But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!”

Nyong’o won best supporting actress at the 2014 Academy Awards, so she’s obviously got some chops. It’s unknown which role she would play at this point, but a strong female lead is key for the Star Wars franchise, where roles for women are few and far between. There’s been talk about her possibly being a descendant of Obi Wan Kenobi, but that hurts my brain in so many areas that I don’t even want to start to go into that.

It’s a big universe, and they don’t need to tie every role into the previous trilogies.


Future News

None of the casting is definite yet, but the movie is set to begin filming in May, so it’s going to have to start soon. Episode VII is due to be released on December 18, 2015. Here’s some money. Go see a star war.